Attention Whore!

I've developed this finely tuned sense of anger whenever I undoubtedly come across attention whores. What the hell is with you people? Seriously, what happen as a child or adult that makes you think other people want to be spoon fed your bs, just so you get the oh's and ah's out of them??? I wish I could say "grow up" or "get a life," obviously you don't or can't do either, so I'll keep that piece of advise for the worthy. I will however, give you this piece, do you really want to see how much people care about you and your inconceivable notions? Do you really want to see who's buying your over abundance of pork bellies? I have a cure for you! Kill yourself, then you can see how much attention you get.  That way you save those who don't give a shit the headache and satisfy your insatiable appetite for stupidity at the SAME time. Snake you're being a dick, yes I can hear your thoughts, I'm special like that. Okay, so lets say that you were abused, neglected, lack the self esteem, confidence, courage or just plain buy into the necessities of facebook, twitter or any other social avenues that encourage this behavior. If any of the above describes you, call 1-900-whogivesashit, yes that's right, its a 900 number. You should be charged for being an idiot. I'm not here to fix you, only you and your sharpest razor blade can do that. I'm here to tell you, "I see you and will forever ignore you."

Where's the fine line?

I would like to take a moment to give thanks for allowing me the honor of expressing my deepest and darkest issues publicly. Although 3 followers hardly constitutes as "public" it still gives me a great feeling of satisfaction that those involved in this jablog will be able to read and criticize me.

I would like to bring up the subject of friends becoming more then just friends. Friends that wanna take it to the next level.

In our current time there are a lot more coed friendships. Now does this mean that people are more mature or more knowledgeable in that they understand where the fine line exist? For the sake of humanity, I would certainly love to hope so. Now this is my experience, meaning me, mine, myself and not others in my group, this has nothing to do with you, so please don't think the world revolves around you other then our lunches and our weekly hangout's to watch Jersey(fuck me in the ass) Shore. May I add that the only reason I allow the viewing of JS without complaint is cuz of the good food, drink and the delightful company.  With that combination we could watch two elephants hump for all I care.

Now if mixed sex friendships can exist on a strictly platonic level then a vast majority of married people wouldn't be telling single people to marry their best friend, but that's what has me going.  For argumentative sake lets say you should marry your best friend, then whats wrong with mixed sex friends getting it on with each other, without fear of criticism from others in the group or fear you may screw up the friendship. Well yes we do have to factor in jealousy and/or envy. To the friends that get jealous, pity them, but also be nice, after all they look up to you. Love is a beautiful thing and if you were to find it in a friend, even better, but don't be naive about it.  Don't let the fact that your single or that you haven't got any in a while be your sole motivation. Speaking again on my behalf, a majority of my friends throughout my adult life have been women, not that I hooked up with them, but I rather enjoyed their company. I was able to disconnect myself from them intimately. I was able to flirt, be the guy a girl can count on and things never got out of hand. I set a precedence for myself, I knew if I let anything go further, what the repercussions may be and unfortunately I never had a friend that was able to get me to my knees. Granted if things were to go more intimate, I can say temptation is a hard beast to resist, especially since your defenses are dropped, your insecurities go away and without a doubt your very comfortable with that person. I know some of you will speculate, that if one friend expresses to another a deeper emotion, then they would be potentially screwing up the friendship. Hey, guess what, fuck it, why order a salad when your craving a burger. Eventually your not only going to eat that burger, but I'm willing to bet you will have a large fry and a chocolate shake to go with it. Indulge now and get it out of the way. If your mature enough to be a good friend and give them advice when they are in need, then you should be able to express your deeper emotions without feeling you will fuck things up. I am not without heart, I understand that some friends may become concerned for both parties involved and may think they are looking out for them. I hate to say it, but no matter what advise you give, you will be the one they will blame, no matter the turnout. My message goes out to both sides of the coin, the friends who should stay the fuck out of it and the friends that have deeper emotions, get it on! Don't mess around, don't play, either do it or don't. I leave you with a great lyric rapped by a great and bulging of an artist Pitbull. I can't promise tomorrow, but I can promise tonight.

The Price Of Greatness

"The price of greatness is responsibility."
- Sir Winston Churchill

For my first proper post in 5 months, I felt that what I must do, not for myself, but for mankind, is to write an open letter to our Jablogger-in-chief, Jablogger. Jablogger has strayed from the blogging path over the last few months, and I felt that he should be informed that it is his duty to heed the words of the great Winston Churchill. Click below to continue...

and we're back

 
If there is a hell, a great percentage of America's senior citizens will find themselves there based on how they pawn themselves off as handicapped when in fact they are just old lazy fucks. When did handicap stop meaning "paralyzed, deaf, blind" and start meaning "slower than i was 20 years ago due to the natural phenomenon of aging, which everyone goes through by the way, so now my bastard self can get away with parking in spots meant for people who really need it"? Everyone slows down with age and that's fine, but no where else in the world do they get a custom shopping carts to take them from their couch to the kitchen to grab some more potato chips. There is a CLEAR line between lazy and handicapped and it should be respected.
If you're too lazy/old to walk 20 feet from a parking spot to your denture store, I sure as fuck don't want your ass driving a 2 ton piece of machinery on the same road as me. Take the bus, pay someone to drive you, or go to amazon.com.

Remember, Remember

The fifth of February.

On this day, in the year of our Lord, One Thousand Nine Hundred Seventy Nine, the Lord gazed upon the world he had created and proclaimed,

"Let there be... Jablogger"

Some might say it must have been a slow day. Not me though.

Happy Birthday to our Jablogger in Chief.

The Question Elicitor

-

It really annoys me when people say or do something just so you can ask them a question, instead of just coming out and saying it, or at least asking you if it is ok if they vent their lame problems to you.

Example: Person 1 walks in, does an overly dramatic sigh.

Person 2, "What's wrong?"

Person 1, "Oh nothing, it's just that blah, blah, blah, etc. etc."

Person 2 (in their mind), "Fuck me, why did I ask?"

I figure they just want to tell you something, but they don't want it to seem like they are whining or bragging, depending on the circumstances, so they do this lameass deflection of a conversation starter. They might walk into a room and say, "What a shitty day". And we, like idiots, all feel some need, through social conditioning or whatever fucked up norms we are accustomed to, to pounce on this response with a "What's wrong?" or "Why do you say that?". I have never figured out why I am always a sucker for this. I say sucker because 99 out of 100 times, I wish I had never fell for this suicide inducing trap in the first place. What I have effectively done, is invited a conversation I am pretty sure I never wanted, all because I have been conditioned to bite at these conversational dog biscuits. It's even worse when they have follow up statements. At that point I have no idea how long I'm stuck in this mess, and once it's started I can't dismiss it because then I become the asshole. After all, I asked what the problem was. I get relegated to the role of conversation prolonger, throwing in a "uh huh" or "oh really", counting the moments until this verbal waterboarding is over.

I have tried to simply ignore this mental chess game, however, the only thing worse than sitting through an unwanted conversation is the awkwardness of the person repeating the process in order to get you to bite. The reason it's worse is because the person will give up on the statement and just come out and say what they wanted to in the first place, lameass deflections be damned. Better to just get it out of the way.

So for my sake, if you've got something to say, just say it. You know I'm going to listen, it's not like I have a choice in the matter.

Where have they gone?

We live in a world far more advanced than the one we grew up in. In the last 15 years we have gone from America Online Dial Up connection, that disconnected when a family member from overseas would call the house, to an era where you can browse the web while talking to your family member from overseas and at the same time downloading the new Jay-Z music video and keeping track of how many miles you have ran and how many calories you have lost, all on your cellphone. We live in an age where we have electric cars, little robot vacuum's that sense the dirt on the floor, chairs that give you a Swedish massage, TIVO and freaking laser eye surgery.

That all being said we have, as a society, severely digressed in one very important area... Cartoons. This morning I woke up and thought to myself "hmmm, it's Saturday, maybe I should re-live my childhood and tune in to some cartoons." As most of us late 20 year old and early 30 year old's remember, Saturday morning cartoons were the best. You had G.I. JOE, He-Man, Transformers and Voltron which would as a young boy breed your inner warrior. After watching those shows I would be all wired up ready to save the planet by killing any and all forces of evil. Then of course you had the ever inspiring trio of Duck Tales, Rescue Rangers and Tail Spin. By the time I would be finished watching those three I was ready to go to Africa and search for the hidden treasures of King Solomon. (Shout out to Smurfs, Dennis the Menace, Gummi Bears and my favorite Thunder Cats). Yet this morning to my shock and disappointment I was confronted by Dora the Explorer, Pokemon, Sponge Bob Square Pants and last but not least Tele Tubbies. What in the name of everything holly happened to cartoons? What are we feeding into our children's minds with these for the lack of better term retarded shows? Tele Tubbies will be giving me nightmares tonight...

The most surprising part of all this is that kids these days are more advanced than we were as children. They fill up places like Howie's Game shack, spend $4.50 on an energy drink and plug their minds into some online death match for seven hours. So the question is how is it possible that the same kids that grow up watching these lame cartoons turn to Halo and crazy first person shooter gamers while those of us who watched G.I. Joe ended up playing Tecmo Super Bowl or just would go outside in the fresh air and shoot a basketball?

After several minutes of contemplation I could only come up with one answer... It's a conspiracy. You see the more lame and retarded you make the cartoons you push the kids away from them. By pushing the kids away from the television (that the parents would pay the monthly bill on anyways) you are creating a market for video games, internet game software, more powerful computers, energy drinks and ADD pills. Case in point, when I go to Best Buy or Toys-R-Us this morning to buy my little one year old cousin a xmas gift what I am going to run into is a bunch of parents running around frantically fighting over the last new edition of Modern Warfare or Command and Conquer for their zombie look alike 13 year old who has had way too many red bull drinks for 10 am, who still doesn't like girls and who thinks John Madden is currently a great quarterback in the NFL because his name is on a video game.... So Sad.

So my solution, well I don't have one... or at least have not had time to contemplate yet. But for now I will resort to downloading my favorite cartoons from torrents and by the help of my friends connecting my computer to my television and to live stream an old G.I. Joe episode through a hub network from a torrent that was uploaded in India in a zip file... Oh my god I am turning into one of them.... FML.

P.S. Deadline met.

The Great Bluetooth Bamboozle

I want to see a report chronicling the effect that the laws concerning using your cell phone in the car have had on the drivers of California. We haven't been able to talk on the phone (without a handsfree headset or device) or text message for quite some time now. I bet there hasn't been much of an effect, and I would also bet that we were just the pawns in a massive chess game perpetrated by the Bluetooth lobby of California. They outlaw holding the phone to your ear in the car, and Bluetooth sales go up. Then bluetooth sales stagnate for a bit, after people decide, "screw this, I'll just text people instead", so they outlaw that too.

Somewhere along the line, I bet the huge Bluetooth conglomerates got together and decided that they needed to expand their target markets. "No more can the future of our companies rely on sales limited to attention whores and douchebags," some insightful executive must have said. "How shall we make it so that the commoner will buy our product, and in effect, become the very douchebag he hath loathed for lo these many years?" he pondered. (In my mind, the Bluetooth lobby meetings take place in a Shakespearean play, apparently). "Eureka!" he exclaims. "We shall scare the masses, make them believe that actually holding one's device to one's ear makes it dangerous!" (forget the act of having a conversation as a distraction). And so, the scare tactic worked, they got their lobby to get Schwarzenegger to pass the bill, and I'm out 50 bucks on a headset that makes me look like an also-ran in a "Real Douchebags of Orange County" contest.

But wait, another exec would counter with "But m' lord, what about those that doth text whilst operating their motorcars?".

"Ne'er you worry" he counters, "We shall strike down thy texting privileges as well".

And there you have it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to put my phone on speakerphone and hold it near my face while I am driving. That way if a cop rolls by I can drop the phone to my lap but still continue my conversation. Some might say I doth protest too much.

reverse-bump

 
Pretty self explanatory, so uh, yeah...

My Apple Beefs

If you know me, you know I love Apple. After years of being blinded by the window, seeing the iPhone made me switch, and so far, I haven't looked back. Windows 7 won't change that either. It's not even close. Having said that (sorry Larry David), I do have some Apple beefs:

• Lack of Mail features and Slow Mail Updates
  We all know that Snow Leopard was not a feature upgrade, but was mainly for under-the-hood changes to help future iterations of OS X. One area where I was hoping Apple would make a major exception is in the Mail application. Mail is an integral part of everyone's daily computer use and having an application that cannot easily compete with Microsoft's paid offering is unacceptable. Features such as previewing mail vertically and being able to send email at a set time should have been added a long time ago. I understand that Exchange throughout Mail, Address Book, and Calendar was a huge new feature, but to all of us not using Exchange, that upgrade is meaningless. Apple needs to either have a business centric mail as part of iWork or consider updating Mail more regularly and not just with each OS upgrade. Mail is just too important.
  
  
• iPhone/MobileMe OTA sync with Notes/Tasks
  For $99/year, it is very odd that Apple does not allow iPhone users to sync over the air with Notes and Tasks. You can sync notes locally, but there is no way to sync tasks at all. Why is this? It seems like Apple is adding these feature check marks in each version of the iPhone, with an entire strategy organizing strategy. This should have been done a long time ago, especially for a paid service.
  
  
• Installing & Uninstalling
  Another area where Microsoft shines slightly brighter is the installation and uninstallation of programs. Yes, you can just drag and drop a program in Applications, but which ones? Some have you install, some have you drag and drop, and some even install in your preferences pane and not in the applications folder. There should be one consistent way of adding and removing programs. Additionally, once you have decided to delete a program, you don't know with 100% confidence if there is an uninstaller (take Adobe for example) or if you can drag and drop the program into the Trash. It's even worse with Preference Pane programs. Even if you can drag the program into the Trash, it still leaves items behind in your personal or system wide library. There are 3rd party utilities like AppZapper, but there should be a built-in program to delete the remnants that programs leave behind. Apple is about simplicity and consistency, but there is nothing consistent about the process of adding and removing programs.
  
  
• Monitors not updated? LED monitor $899?
  The monitor issue is very frustrating. Apple's Cinema Displays have not been updated in 4 years. Last year, Apple added the 24" LED monitor to its lineup. Even at that time, the $899 price tag was ridiculous, and now with 22" LED monitors going in the 200s, Apple's monitor is seriously overpriced. You can argue the built-in iSight and speakers, but there is nothing in this monitor that justifies its $899 price. At first, this monitor was designed for the MacBook Pro family with the mini display ports. However, now that there are adapters and Mac Pro's with display port built-in, Apple still ships the monitor with a short cable. Did you just buy a $900 monitor and have your $3,000 computer under your desk? Too bad, you're stuck with your old monitor since your cable is too short. Apple should immediately drop the price of this monitor and ship it with regular length cables so that Mac Pro users, (the big money spenders) can at least use their top of the line monitor.
  
  
• Magic Mouse
  At first, the Magic Mouse seemed like a big step back for Apple. Yes, it had a cool touch technology. Yes, it looked sleek, but it was missing a key feature that even the terrible Mighty Mouse (now call the Apple Mouse) had. You could squeeze the mouse and go into Expose or you could push down on the entire mouse and go to Dashboard. These features are no longer present (by default) in the Magic Mouse. Expose is a vital part of navigating in OX X. I really hope (and, like 4 finger gesture on older MacBook Pros), I think Apple will add this feature in a future update. My hope is that a deadline to get the software out before the iMac's were introduced was the culprit. How about a 3 finger swipe down for Expose and a 3 finger swipe up for Desktop view?
  
  
• Screen Sharing App
  An application I often use locally and through MobileMe is Screen Sharing. The app launches and works fine, but the problem is the terrible feature set. There isn't a true full screen mode, I cannot drag and drop between the computers, and copying and pasting is not seamless. To make matters worse, the hidden features were removed in Snow Leopard. When not on the local network, Screen Sharing will not replace LogMeIn anytime soon, but I wish it could. Having the ability to use a screen sharing program with at least some power user features would be very helpful. Also, how about an iPhone app for MobileMe users, much like LogMeIn Ignition? I'll pay for it. Note: purchasing Apple Remote Desktop is not an alternative.
  

As a bonus, for those of you that want to use Camino as your main browser, I can recommend it, but with a large caveat. The program has a major memory leak (at least for me) and can cause the system to use over 1 gigabyte of memory while in use. You will notice slowness in your browsing and if you want to watch Flash videos… Good Luck.

Screenshot:

The Restroom Agreement

Is it too much to ask that a guy wash his hands after using the restroom? I don't consider myself a germophobe, per se, but I try to practice good hygiene. I don't think it's too much to ask the same of others, especially when the opportunity is in front of you. Especially when someone else is in the restroom with you, and can corroborate claims of your disgusting nature. I was the victim of a rather brazen attack today. I walked in to use the urinal, and saw that there was a gentleman using the stall (performing a number 2) next to me. I finish up before him, and I go to wash my hands, as I always do in a public restroom. There are two sinks, and as I was washing my hands, I thought that when he came to wash his hands, we would have one of those awkward moments in the office restroom, where you know the guy but you're not friends, and you're not really sure what to say, like "Hello" or "How's work?" or "Crazy weather, huh", or some other throwaway comment people make to other people they don't like because the comment, though lame, beats an awkward silence hands down. Most of the time, what you really want to say is "Jesus, what did you eat? Mustard gas?"

Anyway, as I was looking down to get the soap, homeboy up and walks out of the bathroom. I heard the door slam and thought, "Well clearly, someone else must have walked in, because Gentleman #1 has not used the sink yet". But I was wrong. Gentleman #1 performed a rather ungentlemanly act, and left the restroom after having touched himself in places I would rather not think of. I mean, using the urinal and bouncing (albeit just as annoying) is more commonplace, but this left me flabbergasted. Did he not see me? Did he think I wouldn't notice? Does my desire not to contract a disease matter? What's worse, is now I gotta go around looking for the dude with the brown shoes and wondering if he is touching the same door handles as I am. Is he a client? What if he wants to shake my hand? How the hell do I get around that? If he extends his hand, should I say, "No thanks. If I wanted to touch your genitals, I would buy you dinner first."? Yeah, that's what I'll say.

What am I saying, of course I won't. I'll shake his hand and spend the next few weeks at home with some variant of the swine flu because this inconsiderate person didn't wash his hands, and I was too chicken to call him out on it. Take note, America, wash your hands after using the restroom. The life you save could be mine.

next year's JaMacD bbq game plan

  
more food, less drinks.
way, way less drinks...

turkey weekend thoughts

 
- Thanksgiving is easily the best holiday of the year, food, football and a 4 day weekend, what more could you want? Although it was a lot better when we played our own football game without having to worrying about how much time from work we’d miss if we got hurt, or if our medical insurance is up to date. Now that’s a thing of the past, we are old, paranoid and pathetic. The one thing we are not as of yet is ball-less, despite the best efforts of those who want to make us that by suggesting we play flag football. Flag football…just the words make me gag. Playing with flags rids football of its two greatest attributes: 1) the physical nature of the game, which makes the game a non-big guy friendly event. We already have enough sports that 95lb speedy Somalians are good at. 2) the fact that football gives us the freedom and opportunity to hit the friends we might like a little less than the others. Ya, I said it.

- Watching regular season NBA is just torture. Thanks to the NFL’s capitalistic whoring way of showing some games exclusively on the NFL network (a channel only available to direct-TV customers, which of course the family we visit for thanksgiving is not) I was left with no viable alternatives to plead with the jackass holding the control to change the channel to. Id honestly rather sit and watch the WE network or oxygen with my mom than sit through a regular season NBA game. Playoffs are pretty boring too because you know who’s gonna win the series 95% of the time, but at least during the playoffs you can convince yourself the games somehow matter. The playoffs also mean the season is almost over, which is about as welcome as a party invitation to playboy mansion (hef, I know you’re reading this you old bastard…address the invite to Jablogger and Monster, we’re waiting). I can’t really blame the players though, if I had 82 games to play and half the teams were making the playoffs I wouldn’t give a shit either. But even as a player I still wouldn’t watch regular season NBA, seriously.

- And on this holiday weekend, on behalf of Monster and myself, I’d like to say that we are both very thankful for our health, family, friends, but most of all, we are eternally thankful for JaMacD’s Saturday BBQ bash. Never before has a golden brown turkey with all the amazing side dishes and trimmings sat in front of me while the thought “this is going to be the 2nd best meal of the weekend” ran through my mind. Long live JacMacD, his grill, and his vitally important yet majorly underrated sous-chef TDM.

The Mathematically Challenged Cashier

I have a tip for the retailers of America, and across the world, especially with the holiday season descending upon us, whereby you may need some more cashiers. Make this one of your prerequisites to hiring for the job: must be able to count.

I was recently in front of a cashier, I won't mention the establishment, because frankly it doesn't matter, this happens everywhere. The cashier told me that my total was $7.92. Wanting to get rid of some loose change in my pocket, I handed the young man a ten dollar bill, three one dollar bills, a dime, a nickel, and two pennies ($13.17). He handed me back everything but the ten dollar bill, then made change for it, handing me 2 one dollar bills, a nickel, and 3 pennies. If the combination of disbelief and outrage has a face, I was wearing it at that moment.

If you can't figure out why I'm outraged, you're probably a cashier.

So now, I leave the establishment not with the 1 five dollar bill and 1 quarter, as I had so intelligently anticipated, but rather, with 5 one dollar bills, a dime, two nickels, and 5 pennies. I was in such shock I couldn't even muster the courage to ask him to change it for me. I instead left the establishment with my tail between my legs, and one shattered sense of reality. What the hell am I going to use all these coins for? A vending machine? Vending machines haven't taken pennies in 50 years.

This made me think of our public school system, which has now become evident to me is grossly underfunded. This should not happen in this country. This kid should have had a better mathematical upbringing. This kid, it seems, was at least one child that was left behind. And the consequence? Me, walking to my car, contemplating the very existence of life itself, to the soundtrack of the dancing coins in my pocket.

Consequently, if any of you need change for a 5, now is the time to ask.

new rule for new parents

At no point during a telephone conversation is it okay for you to hand the phone to your offspring and have them “talk” to me. Ever!

Listen, I understand every parent thinks their kid is the cutest thing in the world and I understand their innate need to share that cuteness with every person they encounter through every imaginable median, but here’s the thing: the cuteness does NOT translate over the phone. In fact, the cuteness metamorphosizes into an episode of endless pointless frustration that has been known to induce self mutilating behavior. I’m pretty sure this was one of the controversial methods used at Gitmo to get info from prisoners.
I can’t see your damn kid being cute over the phone, all I can do is hear what seems to be a muffled mixture of words and drool as I count the minutes till you decide to take mercy on my soul by finally taking the phone away from him and ask me how precious he is in hopes that my answer doesn’t encourage you to give him back the phone. Stop it stop it stop it! Send me pictures, show me videos, endlessly talk my ear off about them, you can even bring your spawn over to my house and make me change it's diapers; just don’t put them on the phone with me.

NBA Beefs and Musings

• How is Gerald Wallace leading the league in rebounds?
• We need the refs to stop calling BS charges. Stern needs to put his foot down on this one. Give the offensive player the benefit of the doubt.
• The NBA does not need to expand anymore, it needs to retract. Has there been any teams worse than the current Nets or Kings? Me, Jablogger, and Monster could be starters.
• Carmelo looks in shape and ready to play. Too bad his team is not championship caliber. Coupled with one of the most overrated coaches this league has seen and bad attitudes, the team will go nowhere.
• Kobe is looking fresh and ready to play. I wonder if he has 82 games in him, plus the playoffs. As Bill Simmons says, 1,000+ games, you start to lose it. Kobe is trying to prove him wrong.
• The Bulls have a nice young nucleus with Rose leading the way. A nice addition or two in the summer of 2010 will go a long way.
• Iverson is a quitter. 2 GAMES in and he quits? Nice.
• Jordan is one of the worst GMs in the history of the league. Less golf, more GM'ing please. (Isiah keeps Jordan from being the worst.)
• Chad Ford of ESPN said he's sorry to Laker fans because it's the Magic's year this year. Look at this guys history, he's almost always wrong. Barring a major injury or multiple key injuries, I will change my name to Jablogger's choosing if the Lakers do not win it all! It is inevitable. On a side note, Boston is looking great. Their D is perfect, the signings of Wallace and Marquis Daniels looks good. KG is a concern since he is REALLY slowing down. He may need to take some games off. The guy is running on one leg out there and still has 2 years and 40 million left on his deal, not including this year. (I hope I'm wrong, but I REALLY doubt it)
• Did you know who the highest paid player in the NBA is? Tracy McGrady, who hasn't done anything in years. He'll be the biggest cap room trade chip in the league and NY will fight to get him. Maybe the Bulls can get in the mix as well.
• What's happening in New Orleans is horrendous. Why did they trade for Okafor again? Killing your future cap space for someone who can potentially score a couple of more points a game than Chandler? What a horrible trade. Boston is also looking like geniuses for not overpaying for Posey. Nice move Ainge. Chris Paul is counting the seconds until 2012 when he can bolt.
• The Suns are looking good early. Shaq leaves and they're playing better. Shaq goes to Cleveland and they're playing worse. We all know Shaq is built for the playoffs. We really can't pass judgement until then. It'll only matter is Lebron leaves or stays.
• Tweet to Don Nelson. Your team sucks and is in disarray. Just play Randolph more. That's all anyone wants from you and you can't even do that.
• If a team gives Amare a max contract in 2010, I will let Monster choose a name for me. I don't see how anyone who has seen Amare play can say that he's a max player. David West type money sounds about right. 8 million/year.
• Why you don't bet Jablogger when he looks confident. (you can see it in his eyes): Chris Kaman is the western conference player of the week. (Noah did have a 12/21 game on Tuesday)
• Go to Chicago Lebron!
• Bonus: I still can't believe the Lakers got Gasol.

The "Sir" Charade

When did the term "Sir" become a disparaging remark? I've noticed that over time, the term has become an increasingly easy way for someone to express their distaste or insult you while being as polite as possible. Some examples include, "Sir, it's your turn", or "Sir, you are holding up the line", or even "Can I help you, Sir?". The really irate subject will give you a "Sir" sandwich, as in "Sir, you're making a scene, Sir". This is modeled after the military, where a "Sir, yes, Sir" is the affirmative response, but I wouldn't take that as a sign of respect, the soldier is only speaking that way because he is terrified.

There are only three instances I can think of where you are pretty much ok, and that is the "Thank you (or You're welcome), Sir", the "I'm sorry, Sir", and the "Excuse me, Sir". But even those can be insulting if the intonation of speech is compromised. Even people who start a letter with "Dear Sir/Madam" might be only doing so because they figured your name wasn't important enough to figure out beforehand.

The word "Sir" was intended to refer to someone of superior rank or age, as in a Knight or some other type of nobleman. A way to express that the person speaking it was voluntarily subjugating themselves out of respect. Now, it's become a polite way of telling you to go fuck yourself.

remember remember

the 5th of November...

The Driving Thank You Wave

Over the last decade, fewer and fewer people are giving me the let me in your lane thank you wave. If I'm going to brake, wave you in, and let you go in front of me, the least you can do is give me a wave. I'm not asking for a triple or even a double shake wave. I could go as far as to say I don't even want a single shake wave. Just stick your hand up and give me some sort of acknowledgment for my selfless act of letting you in. Would that hurt? Would it cause you too much trouble to say thank you? The next time I speed up, don't complain.

While I'm on the subject, if you let me in and I give YOU the thank you wave, give me the car version of a "nod of approval" thank you. Put your hand on the steering wheel, stick your four fingers up, and give me an acknowledgment. I'm not asking anyone to stick their heads out of the window, just a simple acknowledgment will go a long way.

If you're not a thank you wave kind of person, don't expect me to let you in!

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